


can i get your amortention?

by orphan_account



Category: DanPlan
Genre: Amortentia, DanPlan - Freeform, Fluff, Hogwarts AU, M/M, daniel and jay are merely plot devices, gratuitous amount of axe body spray
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 13:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Stephen’s essence smells like AXE body spray, Hosuh’s is rosemary and lemon, and somehow they handed Yankee Candle their new marketing campaign on a silver platter.





	can i get your amortention?

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by daniel’s recent video about the scp containment facility and the orange slime that smells like what you enjoy/are comforted by
> 
> Stephen: mmmm...Hosuh
> 
> Me, sweating: Okay??????? 
> 
> and thus, the danplan hogwarts au that was necessitated and ordained by god

Stephen rarely paid attention in Potions. It had never felt like a class worthy of his attention. He was far more interested in his other classes, like Defense Against the Dark Arts or Charms, because they offered much more practical information. Even Trelawney’s pseudo-science of Divination was better than this: sitting around dusty cauldrons and brewing cures for the common cold. Stephen thought it was the wizarding equivalent of a Home Economics Class. It was not intellectually stimulating in any way, and most of the information he already knew. If he didn’t, it was probably because it was useless. 

What he understood less than why Potions was a real class, was why people like Hosuh actually paid attention during it. His friend acted like every second of the lesson should be spent hastily writing notes on a sheet of paper, or meticulously stirring the murky liquid in their shared cauldron. Their class had gotten the short end of the stick, and some of the students were forced to work in pairs. Stephen didn’t mind of course, especially when Hosuh did all of the work. 

“Would you hand me the peppermint oil?” Hosuh asked, gesturing vaguely towards the various ingredients stacked on the edge of their desk. 

Stephen grabbed the herb and placed it in Hosuh’s outstretched hand.

"Refined peppermint oil, I mean." 

Stephen made a face, and went searching for the correct ingredient. “You’re going to damage your vision if you keep squinting so hard at that recipe.” 

“It’s important!” Hosuh countered, “I have to make sure I get everything right. One mistake and we could be brewing liquid arsenic.” 

Stephen glanced toward the other side of the room. Daniel and Jay were occupied with their cauldron, which was sizzling and emitting a stench like burnt rubber. Jay was laughing maniacally, while Dan looked like he wanted to go home. 

“I think Jay’s already beat us to it.” 

Hosuh glanced over where Stephen was looking and sighed. 

“Why do I feel like I’m the only one that tries?” 

Stephen frowned. “Because you are.” 

“You all underestimate the importance of potions. It’s an elaborate art. There’s so many useful things that can be learned from studying it. I mean...you like murder-y stuff, right? There’s plenty of potions your can use to poison your enemies, or even force them to reveal their deepest, darkest secrets.” 

Stephen clicked his tongue. “Ah, but you see, why would I waste time brewing some dusty old potion when I could just learn a spell with half the amount of effort?” 

“You’re a...”

“Genius, I believe is the word you’re looking for.” 

“Whatever you say.” 

A few minutes passed. Stephen was left to his formidable devices--occupying himself by seeing how far he could lean back in his stool without toppling over. Every second that ticked by he thought about the myriad of more useful things he could spend his time. Such as practicing quidditch, or studying for that Divination exam he had coming up. It was unfortunate that Professor Blank had sharper eyes than a lolicon at a playground, however, or he would have dozed off by now. 

He was struck by Hosuh's level of concentration. The silver-haired male was leaning intently over the cauldron. Steam billowed from its surface and covered his face with a sheen of condensation, which Hosuh quickly wiped away with his sleeve. He returned to inspecting the recipe, tracing each line, while his tongue was peeking out of the corner of his mouth and a small, hard line had formed in the furrow of his brow. Stephen resisted the urge to reach out and smooth it down with his finger. 

“Attention, please!” Professor Blank commanded. “Class is almost over. I expect you’re all finished brewing your amortentia by now. So I can finally go over what exactly this potion entails...” 

“Oh, crap.” Hosuh whispered. He was rifling through their pile of ingredients, searching for what seemed like the last thing on the list. 

“Looking for this?” Stephen asked. 

Hosuh blinked at him as held dangled the bottle of ground moonstone over Hosuh’s head. His friend scowled, snatching it from his grasp and chucking it into the pot as Professor Blank began to speak. The potion immediately turned a rich shade of purple, the surface tension was still, and the tendrils of steam that had been spewing out of the cauldron’s opening evaporated abruptly.

“Amortentia,” Professor Blank spoke. “Is a unique potion. One of a kind, and certainly unfamiliar to most. It’s extremely difficult to brew in such a short amount of time. I’ll tell you now I’ll be very impressed if you managed to do so.” 

Stephen’s gaze flickered over to Hosuh, but the other was staring at the front of the room with a blank expression. Stephen’s lips twitched into a wry smile. Even if he despised Potions, he had to admit Hosuh was immensely skilled at it. 

“You see,” Professor Blank continued. “Amortentia is a sort of love potion. Although, it’s not an ordinary one. It’s extremely powerful, and known to be able to engender a kind of obsession within the recipient. Amortentia is most known for its scent, which is unique to every person because it’s aroma reminds them of what they find most attractive. Even if the person doesn’t acknowledge or is unaware of their fondness for the object of their affection themselves.” 

Stephen stared at the pot. It was glistening with a mother-of-pearl sheen, and seemed to draw him closer the longer he stared into its depths. It struck him, as he did so, that the most peculiar scent filled his senses ever since Hosuh had dropped in the last ingredient. It was a mixture of rosemary, like the scent of picked herbs for his mother in her garden when he was a child, and even fainter, the citrusy tang of lemon. He was about to ask Hosuh if he too had discerned it, but the other was currently doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“Hosuh?” Stephen's voice was tinged with worry. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Hosuh faltered out, but when he glanced up his face was pale and sickly. 

“Professor Blank!” Stephen called out, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I think Hosuh needs to go to the infirmary. He’s about to hurl.” 

Hosuh sputtered weakly. “This is...because of you.” 

Stephen wanted to question him further, but Hosuh had begun to sway. In the next moment he was falling, until Stephen caught him swiftly before he plummeted to the ground.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I don’t understand it. A minute before he was perfectly fine, and then the next thing I know he passes out, saying it’s because of me! What did I do?"

Stephen was in the dining hall, seated across from Daniel and Jay. They were both listening him recount the details of earlier this afternoon, when he’d had to abruptly rush Hosuh to the infirmary. Stephen had been scared to death, thinking about how Hosuh said they could have made liquid arsenic by accident. He knew he'd given Hosuh the ground moonstone, and couldn't recall any other discrepancies. Thankfully, the nurse reassured him that Hosuh would be fine, and that the little episode was nothing he should be worried about. Still—it was an extremely odd occurrence. 

“I think I already know why.” Dan said. 

He exchanged a glance of mutual comprehension with Jay before the other spoke as well: “I do too.” 

“What? What do you mean you already know? Those were all rhetorical questions. I didn’t actually think you guys knew the answer...”

“It’s pretty obvious.” Jay said, ”If we look at the evidence...it’s a simple chain reaction. You and Hosuh are brewing a love potion that smells like the person you like. Hosuh brews the potion. Hosuh feels ill after brewing the potion. Simple, no?” 

Stephen frowned. “You just narrated to me the events that I just experienced. So, no, that doesn’t make it any clearer."

“C’mon, Stephen, it’s not rocket science.” Dan laughed. “You’re a 17-year-old boy who plays quidditch and uses _AXE body spray_ to drown out every other odor in existence.” 

Jay continued, “Imagine that but times ten. That’s basically what Hosuh was smelling. If I were him I probably would’ve passed out too.” 

Stephen grasped the corner of his robe and sniffed. Sure enough, he was gifted by a familiar waft of _AXE_ he sprayed on himself every morning. The captain usually booked the field in the morning, meaning that each morning he came to class smelling like, well, he’d just played quidditch. The only way to eliminate the smell was to douse himself in a healthy amount of body spray. 

“So basically, if my essence was to be distilled down to a singular scent, it would be _AXE body spray_?” Stephen emitted a drawn out groan and let his forehead smack against the table. “That sucks.” 

Jay and Daniel shared another look. 

“Don’t you think you’re reacting to the wrong part of this?” 

Stephen lifted his head, squinting. “What do you mean?” 

“Hosuh brewed Amortentia and smelled _you_, Stephen.” 

“Uh...yeah, obviously. I got that the first time you—Merlin's beard!” 

Stephen almost leaped out of his chair in surprise upon putting the pieces of the puzzle together in his head. Since he'd actually bothered to listen this time, he knew what the smell of amortentia actually meant: that Hosuh liked him, or at least, was attracted to him. He couldn’t fathom it. They had been friends for so long. It was more likely that Stephen would enjoy a Potions lesson than it was for Hosuh to have feelings for him. He was Stephen Ng, for Dumbledore’s sake, he was literally the living breathing antithesis of everything that was Hosuh. Stephen frowned when a small, truthful voice in the back of his head murmured something about ‘opposites attract,’ but he crushed it down like a sexual fantasy in church. 

“Wait! Wait a minute before we start jumping to conclusions.” Stephen shook his head vehemently. “How do you it was me, and not just...I don’t know, Jo’s overwhelming aura of happiness? I’d probably feel sick too if I smelled that.” 

“Again, this one is pretty obvious. We were already pretty sure Hosuh liked you. The potion was just the icing on the cake.” Jay replied. 

Dan snapped his fingers. “As soon as you said it, it all made sense. Hosuh always changes the subject when we talk about you. He starts fidgeting like crazy when you’re around, and he goes red like a giant tomato if you so much as look in his direction.” 

Jay nodded along. “To be honest, my first thought was that he was harboring some homicidal intent towards you. Then I realized not everyone is me, and that Hosuh probably just had a crush.” 

Stephen felt like his brain was about to explode. He was only a young boy, whose emotional range could be condensed into a ball the size of a stray piece of lint; he could not fathom an idea as huge as this. Because this was truly ground-breaking, paradigm-shifting, viewpoint...altering. After finding out this information, his world had been irrevocably changed. He thought about Hosuh, his best friend of seven-ish years, and the notion might be...romantically inclined towards him. There was no doubt about it: Stephen was flabbergasted. 

“I’m flabbergasted.” Stephen said, “I...I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how I never realized this before.” 

Daniel claimed it was obvious, but Stephen would never have even considered until it was brought up. Stephen would sooner believe Hosuh secretly despised him. The other was usually so preoccupied with studying or literally anything other than Stephen, whom he was invariably annoyed with.

“Well...what exactly did you smell?” Daniel dared to ask. 

“Huh? Oh. Rosemary and lemon.” 

“You didn’t think to question what that means?”

“Hey, I was a little preoccupied by the fact that Hosuh had just died in my arms. Plus, rosemary and lemon is such an ambiguous scent. Literally anything could smell like it. Even Hosuh’s laundry detergent is...” Stephen facepalmed. “Am I an idiot? Please tell me I’m not an idiot, because I’m starting to feel like I have an honest-to-God mental deficiency.” 

Daniel and Jay shared their third look of today. They glanced back at Stephen, both of their faces mirror images of solemnity. 

Stephen was flabbergasted, yet again. Rosemary and lemon, a pleasant combination, with a gentle aroma that reminded Stephen of a spring day. If he were to imagine what the scent looked like the first thought that came to mind was Hosuh, waking up in the morning, wearing a recently-washed sweater from his laundry bin. 

Stephen wondered why he was being informed by a potion that he was attracted to Hosuh. He hadn’t really considered it before, especially since Hosuh was such an inextricable part of his life. He did know that he was excellent at suppressing his emotions, so maybe deep down inside of him he’d known all along. Hosuh spoke with a soft inflection and with a lisp that was annoying as it was addicting. His friend usually wore a tired smile, a slightly aloof face, and eyes were often red from lack of sleep. He also had a peculiar quality of gentleness that Stephen had not observed in any other person in his life, and it made him want to wrap Hosuh up in a bundle and hide him away from the world. These things didn’t necessarily equate to romantic feelings, but the longer he thought about it, the more it grew in appeal.

“I need some time to think.” Stephen said, abruptly rising from the table and exiting the dining hall. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Stephen spent the next few days drifting in and out of dazed stupor. It wasn’t a huge deal, well, except that it was. He might’ve been overreacting. He might’ve been having a quarter-life crisis. He might’ve been skipping potions and accepting his detention sentences because potions was boring, but in reality he knew it was because if he saw Hosuh he’d probably have a brain aneurysm right then and there. 

There were a great many uncertainties about the few days that passed. Although, the one crucial thing he was sure of was the fact that Stephen liked Hosuh. Every time the words materialized in his brain an odd swooping sensation could be felt in his chest. It reminded him of slipping off of his broom, tumbling down from the sky as the air whistled in the ears, as he was reminded of his own mortality for the brief few seconds before he was caught by the net down below. He was falling without a safety net, completely on his own, and left with nothing to keep him company other than his own overly conscious thoughts. 

He had been considering it—him and Hosuh. It was not much different than it had been before, except maybe now they could hold hands and not be weird about it. Stephen wouldn’t be able to say no homo either, because frankly, it was very homo. 

What his thoughts truly couldn’t explain would be the experience itself. He’d have to actually test it, gather some empirical evidence, and draw a final conclusive thesis on what exactly his feelings meant. Somehow, it would be like brewing a potion. Hosuh would like the analogy.

After making this resolution, Stephen left his solitary corner of the library and went searching for Hosuh. He knew the other probably was leaving Advanced Charms and on his way to his study block. Which was perfect, because the route Hosuh used to get there was a secret one they’d discovered in their second year at Hogwarts. Not many other students were aware of its existence in the back ends of the school. 

Stephen rushed down the corridor, slightly stumbling as he went, both because he was nervous and because he wanted to catch Hosuh in time. As he rounded the corner that connected to a small alcove, he caught Hosuh mid-stroll. They froze when they saw each other. Although, Hosuh probably only stopped so abruptly because he’d been surprised to see Stephen exploding out of the next corridor, panting like he’d just run a marathon. 

“Hosuh.” Stephen said, catching his breath. “I found you.” 

“Hi, Stephen."

  
  


“How are you feeling?” Stephen asked, more as a formality than anything else. 

“Brilliant! I feel great. Amazing what a few days in the infirmary and some muscle relaxers will do. Although, how’ve you been feeling, might be the better question. I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.” 

Flushed cheeks. Fidgeting. Barely meeting his gaze. Everything was adding up too perfectly. Stephen couldn’t see how he hadn’t noticed before. 

“I’ve just been...procrastinating, haha. And doing some thinking, yeah. Thinking about important stuff.” 

“Thinking?” Hosuh raised an eyebrow. “About what?” 

Stephen felt his heart stutter in his chest. “Rosemary and lemon.” Stephen said. “It’s one of my favorite fragrances, apparently.” 

“What do you—“

Stephen cupped Hosuh’s cheeks. Without thinking first, as he had already spent the past week doing just that, he smacked the other right on the lips. The kiss was brief, perfunctory. Stephen wasn’t sure how to feel after pulling away, but he was sure that Hosuh looked like he’d been punched in the gut. In fact, the other’s eyes were so wide Stephen was afraid they’d pop out of their sockets. 

“S-s-stephen!” Hosuh cried, his voice warbling like a tropical bird. “Why did you do that!?” 

“I actually don’t think that worked. Here let me try again.” 

He kissed Hosuh again. Just as spontaneously. Just as impulsively. But this time it was with a little more force.

He nudged Hosuh forward, and they both tripped back against the stone wall of the alcove. Stephen thought he heard one of the painting’s above them tsk in disgust, but he had hardly the mind to care. He was preoccupied by the little sound Hosuh made as he pushed passed the seam of Hosuh’s lips with tongue. He tasted something sweet, like apple cider.

There was a spark, a small bolt of electricity simmering down his spine. This, this is what you was looking for! The spark insisted. The notion caused Stephen to press closer. He felt Hosuh’s heartbeat beating like a jackhammer in his chest. Stephen slipped his hands underneath Hosuh’s robes. He clasped the other’s waist through the thin material of his button-down. Hosuh shivered, then seemed to process the intimacy of the touch, and shoved Stephen away. 

“What...” Hosuh faltered out, struggling to catch his breath. “What in Dumbledore’s beard was that?” 

Stephen almost felt bad. The other was in such a state of disarray, and still splayed out against the wall, a ‘!!!’ expression on his face. He was panting, his cheeks flushed, his hair falling out of his ponytail in loose silver strands. His lips were red and swollen. Which only made Stephen want to kiss him again, and several more times after that. The thought lead him to believe he probably had his answer now. 

“A test.” Stephen answered, matter-of-fact. 

“A test?” Hosuh echoed. “What kind of test means you going around kissing people!?” 

“Not people. Just you.” 

Hosuh’s cheeks flushed pure red. “W-what!? If this is a joke, Stephen. It isn’t funny.” 

Stephen was definitely not joking. In fact, this was one of those rare moments when he was dead-serious. He wouldn’t have spent so much time thinking about Hosuh if he hadn’t had feelings for the other—he just needed the kiss to prove it. 

“Do you remember the assignment a few days ago, in Potions?” 

Hosuh nodded hesitantly. “Yeah. We were brewing amortentia.”

“What did you smell?” 

Stephen was surprised when Hosuh immediately stiffened, something akin to panic flashed in his gaze. “Shoe polish....and _AXE body spray_.” He muttered. 

“Really?” Stephen asked. “That means Daniel was right...I really need to invest in some new cologne.” 

“Yes, well, how do you think I—wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Are you seriously telling me you know that I...” Hosuh trailed off. “What does this have to do with anything!?” 

“I needed to find out why I was smelling rosemary and lemon. Couldn’t you use a manlier detergent?” 

Hosuh stared at Stephen like’d just told a joke and he was waiting for him to get to the punchline. Unfortunately, it would never come. As yet again, Stephen was being one hundred percent serious. 

“You like me?” 

Stephen shifted awkwardly. “Yeah.” 

Hosuh paused, fiddling with the edge of his robe that come undone when Stephen had kissed him. He buttoned it neatly, unbuttoned it, then buttoned it again. 

“I-I don’t understand. This is all so sudden. You got this from the Amortentia? So...you, you realized that you liked me? I guess the professor did say something about being unaware of the object of your affections beforehand...object of your affections is such an odd way to put it. I wonder if the professor wanted this to happen. Maybe this is all just some kind of trick. I mean how could you really just come to that conclusion from a simple potion. Haha, well, it’s no simple potion, is it? It’s actually very complex and multi-faceted. See, even more of a reason why I made a mistake, and the smell we both inhaled were really just toxic fumes. Why do you smell like shoe polish, anyway, it’s—“

“Hosuh,” Stephen said. “You’re rambling.”’

“Still!!! how can you be so sure? There’s so much room for human error. I was surprised myself when I saw the end result. It looked just like the textbook, but I made a similar mistake when brewing wolfsbane, and it actually had the opposite effect. Perhaps, I didn’t make Amortentia, and it was really just a draught of eternal hatred. I mean, rosemary and lemon is such an ambiguous scent, you know. Practically anyone could use. Just because it’s my detergent doesn’t necessarily mean that you...you...oh, Merlin’s beard, you like me!?” Hosuh glanced up at him, a little flash of clarity in his eyes. “I like you too.” 

“I gathered.” Stephen replied. “There’s only one person who goes around smelling like shoe polish and _AXE body spray_ and it’s me. Sorry, it’s not very attractive, is it?” 

Hosuh shook his head, “No, it’s...” taking a step forward and then offering Stephen a small peck on his cheek. Stephen felt like his heart swell in his chest. ”It’s perfect.” 

Hosuh then sniffed reproachfully. “Although, I do feel a little faint.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
